MeUandMaddy's Blog

Welcome to our daily adventures with Maddy…

Category: Randomness

Chromosome favorites

As you know, in many cultures, the y chromosome is mega important and often favored, even in this day and age. Sad but true. But I have to say, I’m thankful for my baby’s x chromosomes. I really am. Thank God for my baby girl. At 7, she is fierce and unapologetic for wanting to play with “boys’ toys”. I grew up with my sister and our parents loved us and never gave us any qualms about being females AND we’re Asian! Granted, being sandwiched between both Chinese and American cultures was a bit latently stressful, but never did my sister and I wish we were born with the y chromosome. We were pretty happy kids. That’s not to say, OTHER Asian people didn’t giving my parents shit about having only two girls and no boys, but whatever, what can we do about people talking.

While it is common in many Asian cultures, I was shocked to hear my fellow lab partner tell me that her Italian family also plays favorites on the y chromosome. Hmm, interesting. The verbatim of T, “My brother could light me on fire and my mom would laugh it off…” It seems like a harmless statement, and maybe even silly to imagine, but the intensity behind that simple statement is pretty strong. Now, I don’t know T very well, she’s my senior RA but from what little time I got to spend with her, she is one fierce little firecracker, she is independent, intelligent, and very assertive. Not to mention, she is uber sweet and beautiful. So, I’m not getting the “I’m bitter” vibe at all, she was just making an honest statement.

So it makes me look at M. I’m Chinese and J is Italian and Irish. J and I never, EVER conveyed to her that she must like dolls and dresses. We are super proud of our little firecracker and her Ninjago & Transformer playing self. I look at her and I thank God for her, others may play favorites or make fun but I really hope she never lose her confidence and fierceness. It makes me incredibly sad to hear stories or witness events where girls were outcasted and boys are favored. It happens more often than we realize.

M was so excited when I found a Transformer raincoat for her at the thrift store last week. The thing is cheap plastic and only cost $4 but she treated it like it was the golden cup. Today, since it wasn’t a million degrees, and it was raining, she ran back upstairs to grab it, so she can wear it to dinner. It made me smile. My girl doesn’t give a fuck what others think…but it scared me also. I don’t want her to lose that, ever. I don’t want her to ever feel pressured to conform to social…pressures.

As a mom, of course, I want so many things for my daughter. I want her to be healthy, happy, compassionate, I want her to want to learn a million things, to ask a million questions and challenge the answers if she feels it’s not adequate, I want her to have confidence and high self esteem. How do I do it? How do I help her become this positive person? We’re all human, we all go through different experience, cope with things differently, and have our own perspectives. How do I make sure, my little girl never becomes bitter, never have low self-esteem or become cynical? Low self-esteem and bitterness breaks my heart. Not to ramble or go off topic, but a professor once told me, (I’m paraphrasing here, it’s been some years) in today’s society, the motto is – my toothache is more important than your cancer. I was blown away when she said that and I doubt that I will ever forget that statement. Because it’s the truth. So how do I help a little girl be compassionate and caring yet still be equally confident and assertive.

I don’t know, I know I’m rambling…I might be going through a midlife crisis or something. Maybe I should change my major and go into philosophy. Instead of psychoanalyzing events, I should just accept it as truth. I’m just uber proud of my little girl. She really is the center of my universe. She is not perfect, far from it. She gets my goat (LOL – J & I LOVE finding old and odd phrases) and drives me bonkers sometimes…but she’s mine. She is compassionate, intelligent, and damn does that girl have a great sense of humor (I swear, she’s a carbon copy of me). And I hope she never lose any of those awesome traits. Peace, love, and happiness to you.

Autobots, roll out!

Autobots, roll out!

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Last day of class for the semester, yay!

So today was my last class for the semester, woo hoo! But I have three finals and a paper for next week, so I’m not in free agent mode yet. I’m excited and nervous, all in one. I’m excited because I’m done for the semester – no more tests, no more papers, no more schlepping my tired butt to class every day. I’ll still have to get up ‘normal’ time to drop off M at school, but afterwards, I can come home and sleep! Shhh, don’t tell her though. And, I’m nervous because, I have had my bouts of depression and when I’m…stagnant, my depression kicks in. And once I’m in that funk, it’s pretty darn difficult to shake. As I’ve told my therapist, I refuse to go back on meds. It took me a long time to shed the meds, and I refuse to go back on. I’ve been free of meds for two years? I don’t even remember! So, anyhow, I have to try and stay active and busy. As much as I complain about school, it keeps me occupied. We’ll see…my famous words…we’ll see.

On Saturday, Jay had to work, so I took M to run some errands. I tried to make it as fun as possible, I had to run to school to return a text book so I told her she can feed the geese/ducks by the pond. Well, sadly – when we got there, there was a big ol’ sign that says DO NOT FEED THE WILDLIFE. Damn it! M didn’t care actually, she brought her little video camera with her and filmed a lot of stuff. There were two ducks at the pond that kept following her, so she got a few shots of them.

My future film maker.

My future film maker.

Since she LOVED her video camera and was filming everything, all day, I wanted to give her my old Flip. But since I hadn’t used it in so long, the internal battery died. I charged it all day but nothing happened, so Jay said it must be the internal battery…and since Flip doesn’t make them anymore – there’s nothing I can do. It’s just garbage at this point. That sucks!

I have another little Sony video but I need a damn Sony memory card so we’ll work on that next. But she had SO much fun. She kept “directing” me, telling me where to stand so she can get a shot with the scene behind me.

She had a fun day, it was perfect weather, too. I know, to a lot of people, this is boring stuff…but hey, I’m a mom – AND – the blog is for my Maddy! 😉

On Sunday, we went to visit her Girls Scout Camp during their open house. I have to tell you, I’ve never been to camp. Growing up in NY with my family, we didn’t do any of these extra curricular activities. Pffft, Tae Kwon Do? Yoga? Girls Scout? Camp?! I don’t think so. Well, I was a bit shell shocked. This is really like camping style camp. Make fun all you want but it wasn’t until recently that I understood how big an acre is…(for those of you who don’t know, it is about 43,500 square feet, give or take a few feet – square footage, I understand…acres, not so much). ANYWAY, the camp leader told us “This building here is the only one with indoor plumbing so everyone loves this building, but it’s for junior scouts…” Excuse me? You know what my next question is…”Sooo…where do they pee?! They’re here all day!” She calmly told me they’ll use Port-A-Potties or latrines. But Port-A-Potties are better.” OMG. Strike one. As we stroll through beautiful green fields and trees, I ask, “This may sound silly, but ummm…do you guys have ticks here?” Again, calmly she tells me, “Mmmm…sort of. Last year, I only found two ticks on me and I was here for five weeks.” WTF. Strike two.

Ok, so maybe Girls Scout camp isn’t for M. Jay’s right, maybe she should do a swim camp at the gym we go to, or something…anything besides this. Sigh, but I can’t shelter her, right? I mean, if she doesn’t get exposed to this camp stuff, she’ll send up like Jay & I…clueless w/ nature. So…expose her to 120 acres of trees and outdoorsy greens, and ticks and possibly lyme disease and peeing in latrines, or shelter her and keep her in a bubble. Hmmm….

When we left, she adored the camp, she was looking forward to it. I give her two days max before she comes crawling out of the woods with twigs in her hair and dirt under her nails screaming she hates camp. We’ll see. I hope she enjoys it though. She does get to swim everyday and go boating, AND she’s VERY excited for archery. Step aside, Katniss Everdeen…

Ok, my allergies are kicking my butt, my head is going to explode so I’m off to bed. More soon! Hey, I’m getting better at this blog thing…now I just need to figure out the rest of the stuff.

Me & my Maddy

Me & my Maddy

Peace, love, and happiness to you!

My happy gal…

I had to add this pic to cheer up everyone’s mood. Good night!!!

My sweet, sweet girl:

Life is tough...

Life is tough…

Seriously, why can’t I blog?!

Oh that’s right, I’m exhausted, that’s why. Excuses aside, it’s been a nutty few weeks. A quick rundown. As you know from my previous post, we had some not so great news. We did the only few things we could do, we prayed, we coped, and we tried to plan ahead. Easter Vigil was tough for me, as beautiful as it was, I just couldn’t think of anything else but my dad and his diagnosis. On that following Tuesday, my dad was called for an MRI to get a better look at the tumor, is it INSIDE the blood vessel or right outside, and what exactly were those spots near where the Radio-frequency was done in the liver.

On that Tuesday, I picked up Madison and went up to my sister’s house to hang out with her for a while. She, at the time, was 8.5 months preggo. Then, Jay called me and said he has great news. The doctor’s NP called after the MRI and they all apologized profusely, the MRI showed that the tumor from the CT Scan that started this roller coaster ride was not actually a tumor…but a small clot! FURTHER, the spots by the RFA (Radio Frequency Ablation) in the liver were just burn scabs! O…M…G!!!! I was in tears, I could not believe it. AND, so because there really is no tumor in the blood vessel, he is still on the transplant list…as he was never removed yet. It felt like a dream. I was beyond elated. The special medicine they ordered that the docs wanted him to take were cancelled, it was as if time rewound and was back to Nov/Dec when after his last treatment, the docs gave him the all clear.

So overall, it was a HUGE GINORMOUS emotional roller coaster. I can’t call myself a holy roller, but how can one not believe the power of prayers. We are so grateful. I know, it is inevitable that we will lose our parents, but I’m just not ready…not now.

On April 11th, I celebrated my 30th 33rd 35th ugh, 3x birthday…I feel old…but I’m supposed to be at my prime, no? I mean, seriously…BUT I will try to make this a positive year! A year of positive thinking, a year of better health,  a year of better academics, a year of more family time, and a year of more blogging (lol)!!!

Then on April 14th, we welcomed our little sweet niece! K’s water broke on the 13th, on Saturday afternoon…went to the hospital and by Sunday afternoon, they gave her a c-section! I was in my RA training on Sunday morning from 8am-5pm, but I was texting Jay back and forth to get the scoop. But when I was wrapping up around 4:45, he told me they gave her a c-section! So we welcome the beautiful Baby K! 8lbs 10oz/20in, a big baby!!! M was 8lbs 7oz/19in!

Help us welcome our beautiful baby niece, Baby K!

Help us welcome our beautiful baby niece, Baby K!

Sigh, what else…I met with my girls for my book club last Monday. I love this group, it’s small – there is a whopping THREE members including myself, heehee. Well, it was a bookclub, but now that I took it off Meetup.com because I didn’t want to pay for it anymore, a couple of the girls still meet with me. Yay! We read Mr. Perfect by Linda Howard, and I gotta say – it was pretty awesome! I LOVE the heroine in this book, she doesn’t have that damsel in distress factor, she was fierce AND funny…and she was honest enough with her feelings that she did find her jerky neighbor HOT as Hell. And the hero of course, was a perfect fit for her! We were in agreement that this was a great read! Hey, don’t laugh at my impromptu book club, it may be small but we have fun! We meet once a month, and do one or two books but as avid readers, we read a lot of side books, but we only discuss (or at least we TRY to stay on topic!) the books we planned for the club.

We try to do something fun on weekends with M, since during the week between our school schedules, Tae Kwon Do, and various other stuff we have to do, we TRY so hard to at least leave weekends for fun, fun, fun! On Friday evening, we dropped M off at my parents house and went over to Mirtha & Manny’s…we usually do a pizza/movie night once or twice a month. So far, it is 5-0…Five movies, 0 great flicks…all duds. Can you believe it? Well, this Friday we saw Lincoln. Jay & Mirtha fell asleep! Ugh, Manny & I were the only ones that thought it was pretty good. I didn’t think it was GREAT, but not bad.

Yesterday, we took M and her pal to Six Flags. The girls had a blast! The weather was great, sunny & beautiful! And the crowds weren’t too bad. They got to go on rides without waiting more than 10 mins! It was awesome.

Well, I must be off…I need to get some Zs…allergies are killing me. I feel sluggish and exhausted…I can’t even enjoy the beautiful weather! And poor M, she’s suffering from allergies, too…my poor baby.

Have a great week and I promise to blog more…you know, for my legion and legions of readers out there, heehee.