MeUandMaddy's Blog

Welcome to our daily adventures with Maddy…

Month: July, 2013

Chromosome favorites

As you know, in many cultures, the y chromosome is mega important and often favored, even in this day and age. Sad but true. But I have to say, I’m thankful for my baby’s x chromosomes. I really am. Thank God for my baby girl. At 7, she is fierce and unapologetic for wanting to play with “boys’ toys”. I grew up with my sister and our parents loved us and never gave us any qualms about being females AND we’re Asian! Granted, being sandwiched between both Chinese and American cultures was a bit latently stressful, but never did my sister and I wish we were born with the y chromosome. We were pretty happy kids. That’s not to say, OTHER Asian people didn’t giving my parents shit about having only two girls and no boys, but whatever, what can we do about people talking.

While it is common in many Asian cultures, I was shocked to hear my fellow lab partner tell me that her Italian family also plays favorites on the y chromosome. Hmm, interesting. The verbatim of T, “My brother could light me on fire and my mom would laugh it off…” It seems like a harmless statement, and maybe even silly to imagine, but the intensity behind that simple statement is pretty strong. Now, I don’t know T very well, she’s my senior RA but from what little time I got to spend with her, she is one fierce little firecracker, she is independent, intelligent, and very assertive. Not to mention, she is uber sweet and beautiful. So, I’m not getting the “I’m bitter” vibe at all, she was just making an honest statement.

So it makes me look at M. I’m Chinese and J is Italian and Irish. J and I never, EVER conveyed to her that she must like dolls and dresses. We are super proud of our little firecracker and her Ninjago & Transformer playing self. I look at her and I thank God for her, others may play favorites or make fun but I really hope she never lose her confidence and fierceness. It makes me incredibly sad to hear stories or witness events where girls were outcasted and boys are favored. It happens more often than we realize.

M was so excited when I found a Transformer raincoat for her at the thrift store last week. The thing is cheap plastic and only cost $4 but she treated it like it was the golden cup. Today, since it wasn’t a million degrees, and it was raining, she ran back upstairs to grab it, so she can wear it to dinner. It made me smile. My girl doesn’t give a fuck what others think…but it scared me also. I don’t want her to lose that, ever. I don’t want her to ever feel pressured to conform to social…pressures.

As a mom, of course, I want so many things for my daughter. I want her to be healthy, happy, compassionate, I want her to want to learn a million things, to ask a million questions and challenge the answers if she feels it’s not adequate, I want her to have confidence and high self esteem. How do I do it? How do I help her become this positive person? We’re all human, we all go through different experience, cope with things differently, and have our own perspectives. How do I make sure, my little girl never becomes bitter, never have low self-esteem or become cynical? Low self-esteem and bitterness breaks my heart. Not to ramble or go off topic, but a professor once told me, (I’m paraphrasing here, it’s been some years) in today’s society, the motto is – my toothache is more important than your cancer. I was blown away when she said that and I doubt that I will ever forget that statement. Because it’s the truth. So how do I help a little girl be compassionate and caring yet still be equally confident and assertive.

I don’t know, I know I’m rambling…I might be going through a midlife crisis or something. Maybe I should change my major and go into philosophy. Instead of psychoanalyzing events, I should just accept it as truth. I’m just uber proud of my little girl. She really is the center of my universe. She is not perfect, far from it. She gets my goat (LOL – J & I LOVE finding old and odd phrases) and drives me bonkers sometimes…but she’s mine. She is compassionate, intelligent, and damn does that girl have a great sense of humor (I swear, she’s a carbon copy of me). And I hope she never lose any of those awesome traits. Peace, love, and happiness to you.

Autobots, roll out!

Autobots, roll out!

Vomits at the racetrack, giraffe feeding, and some great news.

When my sister and I were growing up, our parents would take us to Belmont Racetrack almost every Sunday during the summer. Since my SIL interns there, we decided to take M so she can get sort of an inside scoop of the place. It was a ton of fun. She got to go the the press-box, in the paddocks where the horses were prepped for the races, she had a blast. But before she got to do all that, she was hungry and ate a greasy pepperoni pizza at their concession stand, plus the heat and humidity AND the excitement, she was just on overdrive…so when SIL took her to the paddocks to look at the horses and then I get a text asking me to meet her downstairs because she threw up. Yes, threw up, everything she ate.
Screen Shot 2013-07-15 at 12.09.39 AM
Pre-vomit shot. She was so excited to be here!

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Post-vomit and $20 lighter (for that foxy looking t-shirt) shot. She was still as excited to be here! After the whole vomit ordeal, she was totally fine, as of nothing happened.That’s my girl. And no, we didn’t win a thing…but it was a fun experience, vomit and all.

We spent our 4th of July in Baltimore. We love Baltimore, it’s a great place for kiddos and it’s not too far from us. J took Friday off and we headed down Wednesday afternoon. During the 2.5 hour drive, all we did was LAUGH, OMG – if you can hear our conversations, we would probably burn in Hell for all eternity but you know what, laughing beats the shit out of crying. We will laugh over anything, any day.

We had a mega fun time. M got to feed a giraffe! What a neat idea! We were bummed when we got to the exhibit and the zookeeper told us, they can only sell us the leaves to feed IF they were in the feeding area…and of course, no giraffes were in sight. So we walked around and came back, and viola – the hungry giraffe was there! Woo hoo! We happily paid our $2. for a sprig of what looks like eucalyptus leaf and she was a happy camper!

Feeding the giraffe was SO fun!

Feeding the giraffe was SO fun!

Best $2 spent during the whole trip. We also went to the aquarium and I have to say, for the amount we paid, it was really meh. Adventure Aquarium by us is better, M can pet baby sand sharks, and sting rays at our aquarium. This one was behemoth, but just not a lot of hands on exhibits. But it was an experience we had to try. During our final day, we went to the Walters Art Museum. By far, one of the best art museums, ever! We really enjoyed it. The art were amazing, M loved the Egyptian exhibit as usual (she is infatuated with mummification…don’t ask)…and I loved their Medieval World exhibit (all the Romanesque and Gothic art). It was just an amazing visit.

AND, I’d like to end this post on a good note. Last week, I went with my dad to Mt. Sinai for his follow up. I was really nervous about this visit because the last time he went in for the chest CT and liver MRI, they scared the shit out of us. They literally ordered his meds to “keep him comfortable”, basically, the death sentence. Of course, they made a mistake and after further examination, they said there were no tumors and the spot was in fact a small clot and residual from the RFA. So, I felt like, wow – we were blessed with such wonderful news, this time around, we must not be so lucky. I was a damned nervous wreck. As they did the MRI, the technician asked me to stay with her so I can talk my dad through the procedure in the machine (that MRI machine is a miracle of science!) and I was beyond tempted to ask her, do we see anything on the liver? But my better judgement told me that, she may not be correct in her reading. Why stress over it. So I kept my mouth shut and waited the 3 hours until seeing Dr. S. When we walked in, we see two other doctors in the office and of course, my heart drops. I’ve been to a few appointments with my dad, but I’ve never gone with him to see the oncologist. It was either my mom or my sister who brought him before. I’ve spoken with Dr. S. plenty of times but this was our first meeting. So, me being the ever pessimist, the first thing I say is, Should I be nervous? And suave as he is, Dr. S. says, No, why should you be? He proceeds to tell us to sit down and he turns to my dad and in very plain mandarin (I shouldn’t be shocked that he speaks Mandarin, his wife is Asian), that the scans were good, all is well. My dad was so nervous, he didn’t hear him! I had to ask Dr. S. (sadly, in English because I don’t speak Mandarin), So….everything is ok? Yes! All is well, and he is just like the last time, no new growth and in fact, the spot we suspected last time was truly just a clot. He is still on the transplant list.

We talked for a few more minutes and when he asked the famous, do you have any other questions for me, I wanted to say, you gave us great news, I have no questions. But I remembered my manners and politely thanked him for his time and went on our way.

SO, there you have it. The good news is my dad is tumor free, thank God. We will head back there in three months for another scan. As much as we hold our breaths each time, we can’t let it hinder our lives. We have to shift it to the back burner and just be happy and positive. We continue to pray and thank God for all we have been blessed with.

Ok, I will get off my holy pew now. I’ve been slacking on the blogging…but it’s just been mega busy with the research lab and working part time for the Alumnae project. But, it’ll give me the experience I need for grad school…I hope. Until soon, peace, love, and happiness to ya!